Concern

I’ve been thinking recently, usually while driving, about hand signals. I think it would be extremely useful to have an “I’m sorry, my fault,” hand signal. Of course, we already have the “f- you, your fault” signal, which is a pretty easy sign to make with one hand. And many people do.

Of course, it’s counterproductive to give the one-finger salute, even if the other person did make a mistake, and even if they did something deliberately rude. Many drivers have this instinct: if someone does something wrong or rude, we feel the obligation to punish them for it. We yell at them, show rude gestures, honk, and what have you, to teach them a goddamn lesson. I don’t think this works. If anything, it makes the other person angry or frightened, and more likely to make another mistake, or be rude to someone else. I think the problem is that these actions serve more as challenges, and not punishments, which is why they fail to work.

I’m wondering about a different kind of approach, where you say “sorry” instead of berating someone. Even if something isn’t your fault, still, say you’re sorry. You don’t have to justify it, or believe that you were really at fault, because those things don’t matter out on the road. No one can tell, or care, if you say “sorry” but didn’t really mean it, while it’s equally difficult to see a middle finger as something you don’t mean.

The rub is what gesture to use. A little placard that lights up to say “I’m sorry” or “my fault” would actually probably work the best, because hand gestures don’t seem to exist for this.

We could try to come up with one, though. It would have to have at least two attributes:

1. It must be easy and safe to make with one hand, and
2. It must be very difficult to mistake for something rude, or mistake as disingenuous.

One possibility I’ve heard suggested is based on “I’m sorry” in American sign language, in which you make a fist, and make a circular motion on your chest. Now, you probably won’t be seen doing this gesture if you make it on your chest. It might be an alternative to do it in the air, say, next to your face. It could be mistaken for as “jerk off,” “punch,” or “roll down your window,” however.

Some ideas I was thinking of, none of which are good, include:

• Present an open palm, with all fingers extended. This also means “halt” or “stop,” which probably won’t work.
• Thumbs up. Probably, would be mistaken as sarcastic.
• The “hang loose” sign. Maybe confusing; I don’t know what effect it would have among drivers in Hawaii. Maybe inverted, so the “palm” side faces the other (like an ASL “Y”). Could be mistaken for “call me,” too, which is a kind thing to say to strangers, but confusing while driving.

Update: Europe, as usual, does this better than you. The open-palm, fingers extended gesture sounds like a winner.